I'll admit it, I'm all atwitter on the eve of Thor's impending release. Thor, along with Fantastic Four's The Thing(which spewed two goofy movies), were my favorites when I was a Kid. The long bike ride down Wiley Canyon always ended up at the Safeway with the huge rotating comic book stands. So I thought it only fitting to share my views on the best and worst comic book movies ever made.
Even just that term, Comic book/superhero movie, has a bad vibe for me. In these days where seemingly ever second movie pumped out of an idealess Hollywood is a superhero movie, and most of them wind up being little more than noisy excuses to show off the latest CGI, I have a certain amount of loathing bullt up for the genre.
This from a guy who is a fan. There's space for one or two of these tentpole release a year, not the half dozen we get. Comic book movies have become stale and lazy. So I hope my pal Thor can buck the trend. We'll see.
But what are the two best and two worst superhero movies already made?
Let's take a look at the worst first, so we can end without a bitter taste in our mouths. One of these will be a bit of a surprise, the other vanished so quickly many may not have seen it.
The two Worst Superhero movies ever made:
2) Spiderman 3.
It's amazing how bad this convoluted mess really is. What's perplexing is this comes after the soaring triumph of Spiderman 2, since the same actors and same director were involved. Sam Raimi directed and wrote this film and his writing is awful.
The principal weakness here is plot. There are too many of them. There are too many villains, sandman, black sticky stuff, green goblin. Tobey McGuire is terrible throughout, his turn as a "badass" after being affected by the black sticky stuff is unconvincing, clearly showing how limited an actor he is.
What's with the two villains? They must have realized how bad it was going when they watched the dailies and tacked on another villain to fight at the end. Oh, wait this villain brings out your dark side. Never mind that the black sticky stuff makes little sense as to what it is. Or why it's even in the movie.
They left spidey's soul at the door in this one.
1) The Green Hornet
Our title winner is, without question, one ot the worst movies ever made. Most probably haven't seen this and if you haven't, count your blessings. This was Seth Rogan's baby, who besides acting, helped write. He shouldn't have. What is it in actors that makes them think they can write? Writers don't jump in and declare themselves actors. I 'm over Rogan. The whole wiseass stoner thing seems forced onto a movie where it doesn't belong- so Seth Rogan can be .. Seth Rogan.
Hornet is little more than a couple of fraternity dudes and a cool car. Jay Chou stars as Kato(I dressed up as Kato on Halloween when I was a wee lad) and he clearly knows less about martial arts then a six year old with a yellow belt.
I could summarize the plot here, but the movie din't have one. No one involved in this movie should ever work in film again.
The best SuperHero movies ever made.
No Dark Knight did not make this short list. I would rank it #3.
2. Spiderman 2
As bizarre as it seems to put this on the best list when its sequel is on the worst, this a worthy entry. They had different writers this time, everyone else was the same.
Spiderman 2 is good at everything and occasionally brilliant. Watch for the sequence when he stops a runaway train, nearly killing himself. The traingoers pass him overhead, christ-like, to safety in the tram. It's a surprising tender moment, where an unmasked Spidee, looks into the faces of those he's just saved.
Then there's the already classic slow motion scene saving Mary Jane in the coffeeshop while a car barrels over them.
Dunst and Macguire are at their best here, in scenes where they are together. Dr. Octavious is a fine villain, a scientist driven mad by his ego to save, then destroy, the world.
And now.. number 1
1. Iron Man.
Robert Downey is Ironman. Miles better than it's sequel which is pretty good but resorts to battle after battle, Ironman is Downey's movie. His humor and humanity breathe life into the suit.
The first half-hour of Ironman is damn fine moviemaking for any movie from any genre or any time. We are dropped from the sky into a IED blast, back flashed to a documentary style run through of Tony Stark's life, then whisked back into the cave where Stark is held to watch him build his first suit, to a magnificent sequence of said suit awesomely attacking and eventually launching Stark out of the enemy camp.
Of key importance in this first half hour is the performance Shaun Taub as the doctor who saved Stark's life and helps him build the suit, his "the man who has everything has nothing", and "don't waste your life" admonishions fuel Stark's drive to change.
And that's, beyond the suit-flying scenes and the final Iron man vs bigger Iron man battle with Bridges, what make this film a cut above.
The cast of Iron Man is easily the best of any suprehero movie, Jeff Bridges as the cigar-chomping executive, Downey, and Terrance Howard as the army liaison.
You have to love the final 10 seconds where Stark, preparing to read a prepared statement about the goings-on at Stark industries and how he is most definitely not the man in the suit, stares at the room full of reporters and says:
"I am Iron Man".
Indeed.
